Roommates

It's been a looooong time since I've been on here. Since then, I moved out of my parent's house and into a rental property of my own. Things are.....going. I don't want to say they're terrible and I don't want to say they're great. I'm happy, I guess.

I'm living with my two best friends, which should be perfect.

It's not.

They basically hate each other. Well, I mean, they don't really hate each other but I always feel a tension between the two.

I hate being the mediator and that's exactly what I am. I just hate conflict in general and there sure it a lot of it. That's why I clean everything and do everything, I don't want one of my roommates to think I'm nagging him or anything so I'd rather just do it myself to avoid anger.
I wish I didn't let him walk all over me because, sadly, I know that's what he's doing. I can't help it though, that's my nature.
The part that bothers me is that he knows that. (He is supposed to be my best friend after all). It makes me think that if he really was my best friend, he wouldn't take advantage of my weakness. But that's the kind of person he is. That really makes him sound horrible. People say he's selfish, but I don't think so. But reflecting on this makes me think that other people might be right... I don't know. I tend to see the good in people.

He has done some things that just aren't okay by any stretch of the imagination. His main problem is that he has trouble taking responsibility, either for his actions or the actions of those he is responsible for. That really pisses me off. But, sadly, I won't voice my opinions because of the whole "avoidance of conflict" thing.

I just feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place right now. I can't even get help from my other roommate because he's all the way across the pond in jolly old England! All of my friends are willing to help but I just don't want to drag them into this too. I also don't want to have to let my good roommate do all the confronting. I really just want to get some balls and be able to do it myself. The problem is that I just don't see that happening any time soon, or any time ever for that matter.

Sigh, what to do, what to do... Hopefully, I'll think of something.
Sorry this was all just useless rambling.