Love Songs

So I'm alone.

Big surprise there.

I'm not happy about it in the slightest. I've just come to terms with it. Seriously. That's all that's happened. I've just accepted that I'm going to be alone for a while and there's nothing I can do to change it. I'm done obsessing over it.

...

That's not to say that I won't think about my solitude all the goddamn time. And I mean ALL the time. I'm just not going to actively think about it. That can work, right?

It just makes me sad because I never fully understand love songs or passionate kiss scenes in movies. I don't really get the plot lines of chick flicks because I have no idea what that's like. What it's like for someone to like you back, to want to be with you. It must be nice. That's what always gets me the most about being alone, the fact that I feel like no one wants me. That's a perpetual feeling, though. It happens with my friendships, too. I just feel like I'm not wanted ALL THE TIME. I'm sure that gets annoying but I just can't help it!

No one feels as passionately about me as I feel about them. I fall hard for people, friendships or crushes. I fall hard, and I fall fast. The other party just never falls as hard or as fast, and I'm stuck there waiting for them to get to a place that they never will. I know this is going to sound really cliche, (but when am I not cliche) but I just care too much.

The point of this post, I suppose, is just me realizing that I'm alone and that I'm giving up, basically. Is that sad? I'm just not going to put any effort into finding someone because it does nothing but wastes my time because NO ONE EVER LIKES ME BACK. Let me tell you, pretty girls, it is incredibly frustrating!

So here's to the (unwanted) single life!