Inexperienced

One thing that always makes me uncomfortable is talking about how far I've gone with a guy. Why? Because I've got shit in that department. Other than a close lipped kiss with a gay guy on a dare, I've always been alone. I figured I'd have multiple friends that hadn't really done anything with anyone else either (and I do) but it's not because guys don't want them.

The reason I don't like talking about how inexperienced I am is because nobody has ever had a crush on me. Or not to my knowledge at least. And the people that know me that are reading this can argue that there has been a certain red head that was speculated to like me but that was never confirmed. And as for my Valentine's Day secret admirer, well they've never shown their face so I'm left to believe my parents were the ones that left the presents. I mean they DID impersonate Santa Clause for a long while.

I guess it just sucks being a second semester college freshman without a track record. A friend of mine tonight said she was having a bad week because she "hadn't gotten any". I haven't gotten any for 18 years. Think of how I must feel. I'm not saying that I want to "get some" immediately. I'd like to be married or at the very least engaged before I do that, but it would be nice to be asked. You know what I mean? Nobody likes to feel unwanted.

I don't want to make this an emo blog. Bleh. It's supposed to be about me finding happiness! I just feel like going over this will help me find that happiness.

So I've never been kissed... BIG EFFING DEAL! I can get over that no sweat! I'd like to think I'm almost proud of myself for saving my first kiss for someone special! GO ME!

Okay so many that last part wasn't really reflective of how I feel, but it's how I want to feel. So here's to hoping I'll get that way! Here's to hoping I can make the feelings in that statement a reality! Now how do I get there?